Supporting elderly parents comes with a slew of difficulties, but one of the most significant is communication. You’re not alone if you’re not sure what to do when your elderly parents refuse assistance. According to a survey conducted by academics at Penn State University, a staggering 77 percent of adult children feel their parents are stubborn about following their advice or asking for help with daily activities. The situation isn’t hopeless, fortunately.
1. Know what motivates them.
Almost everyone finds ageing challenges. Dementia and mental health concerns, such as worry and despair, affect many senior citizens. You may improve your communication with an older parents by learning how to tell them they need support by including their sentiments.
Ask yourself the following questions regarding your parents’ actions:
- Is it habitual for them to behave in this manner?
- Are they concerned about losing their autonomy?
- Is it possible that they’re depressed or anxious?
- Do they seem perplexed, or do they have dementia?
- What are some of the things people could be afraid about?
Identifying the underlying causes of your parents’ conduct might assist you in determining the best course of action for making good changes.
2. Treat your elderly parents like grownups.
Supporting elderly parents who refuse aid is more accessible when you acknowledge and respect them, even if it feels like you and your parents have switched roles at times.
Avoid infantilizing your parents.
“Dealing with an obstinate parent differs from dealing with a stubborn child. He believes that older people should be self-sufficient.
Remember this while aiding elderly parents who refuse assistance: Above all, the objective is to assist your parents in receiving the best possible care.
When you treat your ageing parents like grownups, you’re significantly more likely to receive favourable results. This applies to easy duties like reminding your parents to take their prescriptions and more difficult responsibilities like assisting them in receiving diabetic treatment.
3. Find a way to express your emotions.
It’s vital to rant — but not to your parents — if your elderly parent refuses to move to a safer living environment or take their medicine as prescribed. Instead, confide in a friend, sibling, therapist, online support group, or Senior Living Advisor and strategize with them.
If you are the primary caretaker for your elderly parents, this is highly crucial.
When you’re continually aiding elderly parents who refuse help, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with irritation, dread, and anxiety — no matter how much you care about them. Protect yourself by taking care of yourself and choosing things that can help you release unpleasant feelings.
4. Accept the situation as it is
Even though you have your parents’ best interests at heart, they are in charge of their own lives and care alternatives. Modigliani states, “[Your parents] are adults with the freedom to make decisions – even bad ones.”
As difficult as it may be, accepting this reality can help you relax and perhaps enhance your connection with your ageing parents.
5. Knowing when to express anything is essential.
People aren’t fond of nagging, whether it’s genuine or imagined. Stop demanding that your parents upgrade their phones, attend a fitness class, or perform other helpful but non-essential chores in the long run.
Decide which concerns are most essential and concentrate on them – at least at first. Worries about your parents’ safety, for example, should be prioritized.
When your elderly parents refuse to help you, what should you do?
Pay attention to the requirements of your parents. Even though you have their best interests at heart, keep in mind that they are in charge of their own decisions in the end. Have open discussions and find a middle ground where everyone feels at ease while assuring that the older person or individuals at the heart of the conversation realize you are speaking from a position of love and care.
Even though mom and dad don’t always follow you’re advice, you may make aiding elderly parents who refuse help less stressful for everyone by paying attention to their requirements and balancing them against the recommendations of health specialists.